BowTiedLoon’s Premium Lab Education

I’m now offering personalized lab education for $399 per analysis. (Does not include cost of lab testing, and price is likely to go up over time as I get more busy). If you’re interested in this, contact me at or DM @bowtiedloon on Twitter to discuss details. (If you have an OG Bowtied account, I’ll give you a significant discount)

Who is this for?

Men who want to optimize their health in every way.

What does optimal mean?

In general, this means you want to be in the top 5-10% of most categories of health: high testosterone levels, low bodyfat, high muscle mass/strength, with low LDL/ApoB cholesterol levels, among other things.

This likely means you are giving up a small percentage of potential lifespan (look at Dr. Peter Attia and/or Bryan Johnson if lifespan is your goal).

What does this include?

  • Education on what labs to order for analysis, based on your personal health, goals, medical history and
  • Autistic level analysis of your labs
  • Personalized education via email to include regarding lifestyle, diet, supplement/medication, etc modifications that may be appropriate for you.

Who is this not for?

For now, women, and anyone looking to optimize the use of anabolic steroids. (I’m happy to try to help optimize everything else here, but since I’m not one to use anabolic steroids myself, I don’t feel I have enough skin in the game to do this at a level that I’m comfortable giving advice on).

Why does this cost as much as it does?

Because I’m extremely good at what I do, and I challenge you to find someone as knowledgable and based as myself to provide similar information.

I’m also extremely busy, and since I spend an excessive amount of time reviewing your labs, I have to limit the number of these that I do. In short, if you’re not able or willing to spend this much on your health as this, this is not for you.

Disclaimer: These services are intended to provide medical education, which is for informational purposes only. You are interacting with an anonymous cartoon loon avatar on the internet, and by no means is a formal or informal doctor-patient relationship formed.  I am not your doctor – I am just a person who is willing to look at the limited information available in your lab tests and tell you what I see from a physician standpoint. The information provided is not intended to replace formal consultation with an in-person doctor or other medical provider. Any information provided is solely at your own risk.